Thanks to all!

Hey I wanted to just say thankyou for those who gave me some advice, and a lot to think about. Its nice to know that I am not alone in this. My dear husband gave me a wonderful and much needed blassing, and the Lord reassured me that things do work out, but that my challenge is to start seeing it His way, and not mine. That because of these challenges, my children will learn through my example of how to use what we have, and that they will grow physically and spiritually...That is what I needed to hear, because honestly, its not the job that is most important, its not the finances...(though it would help) Its how my children turn out, I want nothing more for them to KNOW and FEEL the love that their Heavenly Father has for them.

So thank you all for your support, I feel your prayers, it is really nice to know that I do have some support out there, even if you all are so far away! Its humbling to know you have friends, even when you cant touch them or see them everyday.

Thank you!

Faith, Prayer...How?!?

Alright, so here it goes...I haven't ever gotten too personal on this thing, but I think I have just about gotten to my breaking point. Have any of you been upset or maybe justa little frustrated with the whole answer-to-prayers-thing? You feel so good about one decision, you get the answer yes, to go ahead are pursue it, and here we are a year later, and NOTHING...so you start to question your ability to receive answers to prayers...did we even get the right answer? Did we go down the wrong path? Are we suppossed to change course now? What are we suppossed to have learned? Are we wasting our energy?
Honestly, its not me that I feel bad for! My dear husband, has been working so hard at pursuing his dreams, all the while, still working full-time to provide what he can for us. We both felt so strongly about him pursuing his dream of being in law enforcement, and I know it takes a while for these kind of things to come-about...but how long do we wait? I guess if its really something that we want, we just have to wait, but at what expense? Hey, at least he has a job currently, so he is making something...but we are a family of 5, and would love the opportunity to have a bigger family...but can't do that unless we have the finances to back it! Hence, a CAREER would be lovely.
So, I have been struggling with the principle of Faith, having faith that the Lord knows me, knows my concerns, knows that we need help, I need help. I just watched a movie..."Faith like Potatoes" to watch this farmers faith at work, was miraculous....to have such un-ending faith, not even a blink of an eye...nothing wavering.. To have faith like Nephi...when asked to go and do...He went and did, KNOWING full well that the Lord would not ask him to do anything save he shall prepare a way to do it!... Where does that Faith come from? How do I achieve it? I know...after faith...comes the miracle?!? We need a miracle, but I am afraid that I don't know how to just let it go and give it to God...have that faith that is so needed...
Is that kind of faith learned? Are you born with it? What puzzle piece am I missing here? Is it my own fears that are getting in the way? (Probably) So, what to do?!?! I don't know, I have been counseled to strengthen my faith...I am trying, i really am, its just taking me a while to figure this all out in my head. Maybe thats the problem, I am using my head too much and not my heart...

We're back up and running!

What can I say...Isaac. Completely has come into his terrible two's....I have never really experienced the terrible two's...well at least from a boy, its completely different and it is testing my patience, I am finding that I have a lot more than I thought I did. Isn't that what children do? I love him, but oh boy!!!

Ellie started her very first tap/ballet class, she is so excited and did so well on her first day! She is loving being a big sister and helping mom out. She loves to inform everybody that she is 4 years old and her favorite thing now is to go help Daddy and auntie Jen at work!! She is becoming quite famous down there at the hardware store!

Spencer at 4 months old...HUGE! The kid likes to roll over on his tummy, but hasn't figured out how to roll back over to his back...so he gets stuck there! Its really quite funny

SMILES