I was given this poem today by my midwife, it is beautiful and one that I would have never thought would be applicable to me, not in a million years...
Just Those Few Weeks by Susan Erling
For those few weeks-
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks-
When I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks-
And no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny, unfinished baby, o
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?
You were those few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.
Well, if you hadn't figured it out by now, I am currently...according to what the midwife said..."in a middle of a miscarriage..."
I don't really know what I am feeling right now, a lot of grief. I feel like this has all been a bad dream, I feel like I am just waiting for my to wake up and this will all be the worst nightmare all pregnant women fear. I am feeling like maybe I shouldn't even post this on my blog, because I haven't even made an official announcement that I was pregnant. I feel silly being so sad, crying over something that hardly was even there... I am not angry, I am not wondering why, I am just sad over a life that wont be. I am sad that my husband isn't here, so I can hold him and he hold me through this process...this was his baby too. I know that I am loved, I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and for this family...
Many Faces
4 years ago
6 comments:
Allia - I am so sorry. Please know that you are in my prayers.
This is something that is one of the hardest things to go through. Hang in there. Its not silly or anything such as that to be upset and depressed. It was your child. Your little baby. The main thing that got logan and my self through our tragic miscarriage is the belief that our little one just needed a body and has important work in heaven and is waiting for us to come back to him/her and take care of him/her at the right time in heaven. Hang in there everything happens for a reason and as time passes the pain will ease.
I am so sorry. There is no shame in feeling what you are feeling. I wish I was close to help you. I am glad you said something and you will be in my prayers. Love ya.
I'm sorry Allia. Know that you are so blessed in your ability to create little bodies for Heavenly Father's spirit children-whatever their calling may be.
I"m so sorry Allia, No one should have to go through that. It sounds like you are actually taking the time to grieve the loss of your child, which is so good. Too many people tend to push it off and act like it's no big deal. You are in my prayers
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